Reasons Not to Marry an Unbeliever by Kathy Keller

13 Comments

Kathy Keller, co-author of The Meaning of Marriage, writes an insightful article about her experience counseling Christians who are considering marriage to a non-Christian. "An unequal marriage is not just unwise for the Christian," she writes, "it is also unfair to the non-Christian, and will end up being a trial for them both."

"If only I could pair those sadder and wiser women---and men---who have found themselves in unequal marriages (either by their own foolishness or due to one person finding Christ after the marriage had already occurred) with the blithely optimistic singles who are convinced that their passion and commitment will overcome all obstacles. Even the obstacle of bald disobedience need not apply to them. Only ten minutes of conversation---one minute if the person is really succinct--would be necessary. In the words of one woman who was married to a perfectly nice man who did not share her faith: "If you think you are lonely before you get married, it's nothing compared to how lonely you can be AFTER you are married!"

Read the full article.

13 Comments

A family member of mine is dealing with the harsh reality of this subject right now. A couple weeks ago her husband told her he wanted out. It is such a trying time for her. What a mess!

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Blessed words, I trully needed them. Thank you.

Are you gonna man up and post the update on SGM and CJ Mahaney?

Don't idolize your Paul, Timothy. Man up.

Solid article :)

On a side note, I have been very blessed by your ministry, and follow you on Twitter. I recently saw your recommendation of Downton Abbey. I'm a fan of all things British, and when Talitha Piper recommended it, and you mentioned you were also a huge fan, I decided to pull it up on Netflix and invite my 16 and 14 year old siblings to join me. Since it was TV-PG, I didn't research it further and assumed it was safe.

I'm not sure if you jumped in mid-season and never saw the first episode, because there was a homosexual encounter a little more than mid-way through... Everything looked beautiful before that, so I was pretty dissapointed. At the end of the day, it was my fault for not being more careful before watching it.

I understand that other people may not be as troubled by this as I was, but I just wanted to give you the heads-up that I really respect you as a leader the heart of God, and take your recommendations seriously.

May Christ richly bless you!

Now pastor josh
i love to read the bible.
but i notice it says a lot about manhood and being a man.
i want to know. how do you plan on teaching this generation about biblical manliness?

do you not agree that manhood is a major if not the major issue facing christianity today?

i think a true biblical manliness involves reading the bible, having faith, prayer, as well as things like being able to fix cars, lifting weights, manliness, leading the house and so on.

I dealt with this loneliness during a brief relationship...it's unbelievable how harsh it can feel at some point.

Josh, this really may not be completely aligned to the post content, but I wanted to take a moment and thank you for your ministry.

My 16 year old son has taken the teaching in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" to heart and, while he is struggling with his worldly minded friends that keep telling him to "go for it", he recently resisted a temptation offered to him to "make out".

He is now reading "Boy Meets Girl" and I plan to give him "Dug Down Deep" next (my younger teen daughter is also reading them) - thanks again for your stewardship of the talent the Lord has blessed you with.

From a grateful father,

JD

The article that Josh Harris has twice BANNED from this site!

http://www.ivpress.com/groothuis/articles/rebecca/34.php

Remember, many good Christian brothers and sisters have disagreed on the issue of gender roles and the Church. Don't let Josh the Censor control your mind.

Dear "Big Timmy",

We reserve the right to delete posts that link to outside articles and or websites at any time.

But the reason we originally deleted the article was because you originally posted it under a vulgar pseudonym. We deleted your other posts because you were pretending to be multiple people commenting on your original post.

We ask that you stop this kind of behavior. Thank you.

Website Admin

The IMPORTANT matter is that you left up the link to Rebecca's article. That will do much to sustain dialogue in a Christ-centered way. Encourage dialogue, not censoring.

(BTW, farting is vulgar?)

sounds like a conspiracy...like ufos....

from the link:

"To illustrate: After my husband, Doug, had expressed concern to one of his students that the new pastor of a local church might restrict women's ministry, the student returned to Doug with what he thought would be received as good news: the pastor was a complementarian. Doug then had to explain that although it sounds quite moderate, this term actually designates a position that is quite restrictive of women."

Complementarianism is no more restrictive of women than it is of men. As a man, I am restricted from being a mother, wife, sister, nursemaid, mid-wife, etc for good reason - I am not fitted for these roles.

Complementarianism is nothing more than the recognition of the fittedness of roles and responsibilities from a Biblical perspective.

Equalitarianism is a forced and misguided attempt to remove Biblical gender distinctiveness.

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