Mommy Porn is No Better Than Daddy Porn

28 Comments

I appreciate Christian blogger Melissa Jenna's strong challenge to fellow sisters-in-Christ about the the acceptance of so called "Mommy Porn"--specifically, the best-selling erotic novel "50 Shades of Grey" and the male-stripper themed movie "Magic Mike." Melissa shares her surprise at how "completely accepting" Christian culture is to both of these works. "I've read a few dozen different updates from Christian women regarding 50 Shades and Magic Mike, and the verdict? They love them. I mean they really looooove them. They can't stop talking about them."

She makes the point that women/moms lusting is no better or acceptable to God than men/dads lusting. "To gain another perspective," she writes, "imagine your husband (or father/brother/church leader) going around bragging about how much he loved reading last month's Playboy magazine, or rallying all of his guy friends to go see "Magic Meghan" for the third time. If our husbands were drooling over a movie about female strippers, we would be livid. It wouldn't be tolerated. Church leaders would be publicly denouncing men's sudden acceptance of pornography and erotic films. (Why aren't church leaders publicly denouncing 50 Shades or Magic Mike, by the way?)"

Melissa goes on to state, "Christian women need to reject both of these works, and instead, use our voices in support of what is good, right and true. It is our responsibility, as daughters of the Heavenly King, to remain set-apart from the poisons of our culture, to rebuke temptation, and to celebrate and honor righteousness."

Melissa, thanks for speaking up on this. You're not uncool, you're "hungering and thirsting for righteousness" (Matt. 5:6). Don't be surprised if you're persecuted and ridiculed as a result. I know the Lord is pleased.

Read the full post.

28 Comments

Thanks for this post. Our culture is going down a slippery slope that would have been shocking a generation ago. I suspect that the Stieg Larrson novels paved the way to desensitizing women and prepared the way for the acceptance of 50 Shades.

I have seen previews for this movie, but I had NO IDEA it was a book, much less that Women of God are in support of it!! This grieves my spirit. We have to be willing to take a stand for righteousness, for the sake of our Lord Jesus.

Check out the backlash from Dannah Gresh: http://www.truewoman.com/?id=2095

It blew my mind!

Wow, I am shocked that you say "Christian women" are excepting and loving this movie and book! I have seen commercials for the movie and was so disappointed in the main actor for portraying the role, but then what do we expect of unbelievers? I turn my head now when the commerical comes on. About the book, my husband told me about it and it sounds bad! But all this is a sign of the times and we need to be in prayer for our fellow Christians, that they will draw near to God and seek Him!

Stieg Larrson's novels had a good bit of sex in them but not any more than John Grissom, Steven King, or any other significant writer in the last 30 years.

The Stieg Larrson trilogy was pretty clear on the difference between consenting adults and abuse and assault. The characters who participated in the latter often met a decisive end. Sex trafficking, rape, power, and control were all pretty clearly admonished in the books. (I have never seen the movies)

While I am not the least interested in viewing Magic Mike or reading 50 Shades of Grey, I have a problem with people who have NOT seen/read them calling others spirituality into question.

How about we let the Holy Spirit do His own job?

Hey, Robin.

I understand the concern that people not be self-righteous toward others. But I don't think your overall argument is accurate.

Hebrews 3:13 says, "But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called 'today,' that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Part of the way the Holy Spirit works is through members of the Body of Christ speaking God's word to each other. That's what Melissa does well in her post.

This isn't calling someone spirituality into question it's challenging people who claim to follow Jesus to flee sin and sexual immorality. We all need this challenge in a culture that is sexually confused and steeped in pornography. And we don't have to view every explicit movie or book before we can warn others to avoid it.

Thanks, and God bless.

Robin,

You are assuming that any commentators are making their commentary with an ignorance of the contents of those works. Why make that assumption? There is enough written/said about the works, from the people who have read/seen them and enjoyed them (especially in reference to why they enjoyed them), to be able to properly denounce them.

Or are you saying you must have engaged in a sin to be able to denounce it? Of course not, that would be ludicrous.

You're playing the "let each take care of themselves" card here, and it just doesn't fly.

Must our spiritual leaders submit their minds and eyes to God dishonoring filth to shepherd? Just the opposite.

I commend people for not reading and watching, and I commend those with the bravery to stand up to those who are.


So are you saying that if we enjoy reading novels with sex in them (even if it's not part of the overall plot) we are being supportive of "porn"? The Bourne novels (espionage genre) for instance...Although the lovers get married at the end of Identity

Brett,

Melissa's post is specifically addressing erotica novels. I'm not sure where you got the statement that someone is supporting porn by reading espionage novels. That's not my point.

But I think we should all exercise wisdom as to how what we read and watch influences our hearts and desires regardless of the official rating or genre.

Joshua

FINALLY someone is speaking up. I have been saying this since the moment I heard of the book. My roommates and I literally prayed against this book. It is horrible that society has accepted it in such a way. THANK YOU for publicly stating what Christ feels. (In my opinion.)

Joshua,
Thank you for posting this.

I've been posting sporadically on Facebook and Twitter that any woman who watches this movie or reads the book, basically hands over any argument they have towards their husband, boyfriend, and/or son against them watching/looking at porn.

Appreciate all you do to encourage those on the journey of purity.

Yes Melissa was right on with her article. I'm totally with her and I know God is smiling down on her and blessing her for her boldness. Just as he would for anyone who takes a stand in/for His name.

I have spoken up and I have been on the receiving end of ridicule for doing so. Christians (or just about anyone else) do not want to be called out as doing something wrong. The first defense is to react harshly to whatever sin is pointed out.

I cannot find a good reason to engage in either this book or the movie. Both are garbage and satan is running wild with believers and non believers buried deep in it's pit!

This is a great post and I wish more people could read it.

So, I'm sharing it!

Thank you for posting this! The comments on my Christian lady friends facebook status' about these two items have been driving me crazy! So many of them have read the book and/or seen the movie. I've tried to just turn down invitations to the movie and not make comments about either. It's good to have you post directly about it. I've been really broken by this breakdown in Christian friends. It would not be okay for the men in our lives to participate in similar things. Why has this been okay?

While I don't disagree with anything that Mr. Harris wrote, I think that to just say it is wrong oversimplifies the issue. We need to be asking why is this resonating with women, even Christian women? How did this book make it out of the erotica section and onto the front displays of most bookstores this summer with no more than a blink of the eye? For Christians, how can our attitudes and desires about sex be reformed? It is easy to say it is wrong, but much more difficult to do something about it.

Joshua,

Great reminder on this post! The vast acceptance does seem a bit hypocritical, I must admit. But here's a question: While I agree porn is not the answer to this dilemma, could this be the world's way of rousting womens' attention to their men at home?

It is largely the case that men have fingers of disgust pointed at us for our temptations, yet not once have I ever heard any pastors exhorting wives to take care of their husbands sexual needs at home. If anything is ever said, it is simply a passing comment.

Your thoughs?

Thank you,
Mike (Michigan)

You are so right..."Church leaders would be publicly denouncing men's sudden acceptance of pornography and erotic films" except the acceptance isn't SUDDEN so they don't.

Really, when was the last time you heard playboy, Miss America, or any movie denounced from the pulpit?


I must say that I am so glad that I married a girl who has no interest in seeing movies like "Magic Mike". As a matter of fact, she went out Saturday for a "girl's night out" and I wasn't concerned about where she would go or what she would do. There are fewer guys who can say that in these times. I also appreciate the fact that she doesn't challenge those who would speak out against it, because she has enough sense to know that it is not what God expects of her as a Christian. She is a great example for me and I appreciate her. If a woman is led by the "Holy Spirit" to see "Magic Mike", then she better check to see who's really leading her.

I just read a comment by a well known journalist who is also an athiest...."it's sex and sadomasochism between a control freak and a virgin. 3 volumes of caricature. I threw it away half way thru the first one." If he can recognize this for what it is shouldn't women filled and led by the Holy Spirit of God be able to do the same? In the last days we will be lovers of self rather than lovers of God!

As a 30-something, single woman, I am extremely careful about what I view and read. I struggle to maintain the level of purity my future husband deserves, and if God doesn't plan marriage for me, then the purity that Christ wants of His bride. I don't need any more distractions. As for my married friends, I agree that these books and movies are different than "daddy" porn. But what about chick-flicks that idealize romance that we all know doesn't happen?

This is ridiculous. I am a Christian and do not feel that there is anything wrong with readign 50 Shades. Yes, she Anna was a virgin. I don't agree with that, but goodness is that what the whole book is portraying? NO! It is a wonderful love story. Yes, there are some crazy things that go on in the 1st book (mainly), but you know what...my relationship with my husband has improved greatly since reading this. I'm not fantasizing about Christian Gray or anyone else. I enjoy reading romance novels. 50 Shades is about how a man who was so broken could find the love of his life to change him. I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you!"

So true.
One of my friends who contributes to our purity/modesty blog recently wrote an in depth post on Shades of Grey and that male stripper movie as well as a couple other things she's noticed. I think she even quoted this woman's blog as you did.

I have a hard time being silent around people who claim to love Jesus but applaud books and movies like these by not trying to encourage them towards the truth. As a Christian woman it just makes my stomach churn to be willing to accept the culture around us while believing in deceptions of perversions of the evil one.

I'm really struggling with the tone here.

Has anyone here seen Magic Mike? I think its a fair question.

I saw it. I didn't like it, but not because it had male frontal nudity. It didn't. And not because it glorified the male stripper industry. It didn't. It actually showed a very unflattering perspective on that industry. This was the best thing about the film.

I didn't like it because it wasn't a very good story, and it didn't have particularly likable characters. That's it, plain and simple.

I did like The Shawshank Redemption, as did most of my Christian friends. The Shawshank Redemption has 2 vivid sex scenes, one of which is a prison rape scene. Nothing that disturbing was found in Magic Mike.

My point is, be careful. As Christians, we tend to sound "shrill" when we speak out against something without adequate information.

Also, we tend sound hypocritical when we turn around and delight in something that (truth be told) may well contain far more troubling content.

THANK YOU ROBIN. I get offended when my spirituality gets called into question, as I do read romance novels and see "hottie" movies with my VERY married girlfriends. We all know it's fiction, and frankly, our husbands think it's funny. My husband of 15 years said recently, "I feel sorry for the husbands whose wives don't read the books you read, honey". I think we were driving to church when he said that. ( :

I came across this blog today. I am a Christian and I read 50 shades. I don't think the word "porn" as it is understood in our culture, is the correct term. Porn involves watching sex that is actually happening. This is a made-up story and I have to admit, it ramped up my sex life with my husband. I wasn't fantasizing about Christian Grey or anyone else, would God really have a problem with more sex between married people?
I understand that this is clearly a secular book, but I disagree with comparing it to porn as America knows it. NO one is being paid to have sex here, it's a book. No pictures, no real people.

Both Magic Mike and 50 Shades sound so vapid that I just can't be bothered with either of them. Although with so many people talking about them, I might read through or watch anyway, like taking some medicine just to see what new low popular culture has dropped to.

A note: Chick flicks are about girls discovering themselves. Rom coms are supposed to be comic representations of love and romance. It's supposed to be funny. But the last ones I found funny were When Harry Met Sally and You've Got Mail by Nora Ephron.

Another note: Pornography may be written or visual. Graphy as a suffix includes writing not just pictures. The legal system uses "writings" to mean documents or images.

Use your brains, people. :)

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